I should really have a better tagline.
Posted by Adam on 05 Feb 15:33
But I took it all down. You had months to work out my mystery, but none of you did. An interesting parallel…
Maybe I’ll put up something new, later. If you’ve come this far, watch this space.
Posted by Adam on 04 Dec 00:34
They held a memorial for Declan Rice tonight, in NYC & Boston as well. I didn’t attend either, because it didn’t feel right. His death is a tragedy, but I never knew him personally. If I had gone, it would have been for me, and that felt selfish and small.
I haven’t been posting here much. Because this isn’t a blog, exactly. It’s just a place I can dump my thoughts. A place to turn when, for instance, it’s after midnight and I don’t have anyone I can talk to about all this.
I’m going through some stuff. Feelings I can’t process. I sense the turmoil of them beneath the surface, the stirring of thoughts and emotions that I’m not dealing with. There’s rising tension there.
I’ve never done therapy properly. I vlog or podcast instead, work through whatever I need to out loud, in public, where anyone can see. Only now I’ve got something — more than one thing, really — that I won’t or can’t share with my listening audience. And I’m discovering I don’t have any mechanisms in place to deal with that eventuality.
It’s getting to me. What’ll it look like, if I crack up?
Posted by Adam on 16 Nov 23:34
I didn’t post about this when it happened. I don’t know why that matters, since right now no one is reading this except for me (I know, I’ve checked.)
I’m not equipped to respond to tragedy. And that’s what this is. A terrible fucking tragedy.
It’s a few days later, and all I can think is that this tragedy is just the first of many. Or the continuance of a chain of tragedies that started six months ago. Except, of course, when you start thinking like that, pretty soon you view the whole sordid tapestries of human history through that lens.
It’s senseless, and horrible, and I don’t know how to deal with it. RIP Declan. You deserved better.
Posted by Adam on 12 Nov 01:15
So now we have a whole new problem.
It was only a matter of time before something like this sprang up, I suppose. I’m sure they won’t be the last hate group to target vapes. And at least the first one is a religious fringe group of the sort that can be generally acknowledged by reasonable people to be, y’know, total fucking moonbats. Still, this does not bode well.
Posted by Adam on 05 Nov 23:23
This is all anyone can talk about right now. And I can hardly blame them.
Whether or not you accept Occupy’s claims that they didn’t perpetrate the 4/20 attacks – and I am at least tentatively open to that idea – there are also some very loaded implications glossed over in that quick, short video. Are they suggesting that Forsythe Securities is withholding information from the public about the real culprits? And if so, why – is the further implication that the nature of the attack itself is in question? That it was, as many conspiracy theorists have been all too eager to suggest, a False Flag operation?
These things should not be taken lightly. I’m going to watch the video again. And probably won’t sleep very well tonight.